Expression of a Soldier's Heart
My Heart
About 32 years ago, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Friend, Lord, and Savior. In that moment, I was thrust into a war—a relentless battle between darkness and light, good and evil, angels and demons, truth and lies.
This war has been brutal, marked by both sweet victories and agonizing defeats. I’ve fought against an enemy who doesn’t fight fair. To my heartbreak, Satan has often used people to wound me—people I once trusted. From a friend I held close to a group of church elders I respected, the enemy’s strikes have come from unexpected places. But Scripture reminds me that our battle is not against flesh and blood—it's against the spiritual forces of evil. I have to keep this truth close when someone wounds my heart. It’s not truly them—it’s Satan working through them. Yet, even knowing that, wounds from a supposed friend cut deeper than any other blow the enemy could deliver.
Some days, I feel like David facing Goliath—confident, bold, strong. I swing the truths of Scripture like a mighty sword, landing blow after blow on the enemy.
Other days, the enemy gains the upper hand. His strikes knock me to the ground.
Thank God I have a Savior who fights beside me. He never deserts me—not in the heat of battle, not in my brokenness. When I fall, Jesus gently lifts me, binds up my bloody wounds, and strengthens me to fight another day.
Still, there are times when I grow weary of this war—when the weight of the armor and the endless battles make me want to lay down and surrender for good.
But three truths keep me pressing forward:
1. The war will one day end. Someday, I’ll go home to be with Jesus forever. The battles will cease, and I’ll receive a victor’s crown—not because I was strong, but because I didn’t give up.
2. Victory is already promised. There will be a winner and a loser in this war—and according to the Word of God, I’m on the winning side. Satan is already defeated.
3. Jesus never leaves me. When I have no strength left to fight, He fights for me. His power sustains me when mine runs out.
For Your Heart
Mighty warrior, remember who the real enemy is. The Bible makes it clear: We don’t wrestle against people—our battle is against Satan and his army. Our weapon is the sword of the Spirit, which is the written and spoken Word of God.
It’s in God's Word that we discover who we truly are. The only way to stand against the lies of the devil is to know what our Father says about us.
When you grow tired—and you will—remember that Jesus is the One who gives you strength to stand and fight. And when you can’t fight anymore, He will fight for you.
When Satan knocks you down, God doesn’t call you a failure. He doesn’t look away. Instead, He gathers you into His arms, holds your broken soul, and begins to heal your body, mind, and heart.
When you feel like you can’t take another step, remember: there is a homecoming waiting for you. A crown of victory will one day be placed on your head. This war will end. The final battle will be fought. And then—everlasting peace. Finally, eternal rest.
A Soldier’s Farewell
Thirty-one years ago I joined You,
King Jesus, in the Fight—
Against the darkness,
Against the night.
Against unseen enemies
That never let me be,
Whispers in my mind
Saying I’d be better off
Dead and free.
Some battles You sent people
To help me fight.
Some, they came pretending—
Smiling masks hiding spite.
At times, by Your power,
I rose to victory.
Other times I collapsed in Your arms,
Weary and empty.
In some battles, I was certain
I’d live to fight another day.
In others, I quietly wondered
If I’d fade away.
My King, I confess—
When Satan knocked me down,
Bloody, bruised, and barely breathing,
I wondered,
“Is this the end?
Is it time for my crown?”
Then You’d come to my side,
Lifting this soldier once again,
Breathing life and power into me,
Telling satan, “This isn’t the end.”
“Is this it?”
I've asked too many times,
Sometimes as a question,
Sometimes as a silent desire to resign.
But every time,
You answered with power and love—
“No, not yet.”
You’d heal my heart, renew my strength,
And remind me I still had breath.
This war is not fought
With sword or spear,
But with words,
And a Spirit with no fear.
People think satan’s voice
Is what wounds me the most—
But it’s not.
It’s the words of those I love,
Words that once brought comfort,
Their words now like a ghost.
Today, I lay here again,
Wounded deep.
Satan, through people,
Has struck a blow so steep
I don’t think I can rise this time.
I’m down to my last breath,
But for the first time—
There’s peace in death.
So, my King, I ask You,
Come for this tired,
Battle-worn soldier.
Take me into Your forever Kingdom
Of light,
Where I’ll never again
have to fight.
