Expression of a Real and Raw Heart
My Heart
Have you ever had a good cry?
No, I mean the kind of cry where you're done only after you've poured out every ounce of emotion. A cry that’s a cocktail of screaming, sobbing, and yes—even cursing.
But here’s the real question:
Have you ever had a good cry to Jesus?
I have—on several occasions. And let me tell you, it’s been one of the most healing experiences of my life. Let me share a story.
One time, I was attending a church prayer-planning meeting. The pastor said something—unintentionally—that hurt me to the core. To this day, I can’t remember exactly what was said, but I remember the pain. I calmly got up and said, “I need to pray.”
Thankfully, our church had a small prayer room off to the side of the sanctuary. I walked in, shut the door behind me, and then... it all came out.
I wept. I sobbed. I screamed. And yes, I even cursed.
In that dimly lit room, I poured out my pain to God. I told Him exactly how I felt—raw, unfiltered, and real.
I yelled at the top of my lungs, dropping f-bombs and s-bombs in a full-on emotional explosion.
I went nuclear.
But when it was all said and done, when I had nothing left to give, something else rose up in me.
I began to worship.
Why?
Because despite everything—my pain, the situation, the hurt—Jesus had not changed.
He was still faithful. Still good. Still God.
What I expressed in that moment is exactly what my poem “And Yet” is all about. Every emotion I wrote in that piece, I have felt. And the second half of the poem reminds us of the unchanging, trustworthy character of God.
For Your Heart
What do you think is the most intimate time of worship God desires?
Is it when we lift our hands in praise?
When we sing words like “Hallelujah”?
Let me suggest something a little different.
The most intimate act of worship is often absent from most churches—and sadly, missing from our personal time with God as well.
I believe one of the deepest forms of worship is when we offer God our emotional cocktail—our tears, our screams, and even our curses.
Why?
Because we were created in God’s image—and God has emotions.
When we bring Him our raw, unfiltered selves, we are giving Him something He desperately desires: a real, intimate relationship.
1 Peter 5:7 says, “Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.”
This isn't a polite invitation—it’s a divine summons to come as you are, with all your baggage.
God doesn’t want a religious performance. He wants a real relationship.
And in any relationship, intimacy is built on honesty. On vulnerability. On being real and raw.
But don’t stop there. After you've poured out your soul, there’s one more powerful thing you can do:
Acknowledge the character of God.
James 1:17 reminds us: “...He never changes….”
Why declare who He is after all the emotion?
1. Because He deserves it.
No matter what life looks like—good or bad—God is still worthy of our praise.
2. Because we need it.
It helps us refocus. It lifts our eyes from our pain to His promises.
It reminds us that while our circumstances change, He never does.
As you read the poem “And Yet,”
Take time with the first half. Read each line slowly—out loud—and allow yourself to remember moments when you’ve felt the same. Pause and be specific with God.
Then, read the second half. Again, read it out loud. Declare God’s nature. And pause again. Get specific. Speak of His faithfulness in your life.
When you do this, you’re giving God one of the most intimate acts of worship He desires from you.
You’re not just saying the words—you’re living them.
And in return?
You’ll find healing, closeness, and a deeper connection with the One who already knows you completely and loves you endlessly.
And Yet
I don’t feel like praising you
When I’m standing alone in the cold pouring rain
like standing in the middle of a hurricane
I don’t feel like praising you
When I feel the darkness surrounding me
While my darkest sins are consuming me
I don't feel like praising you
When everything seems so broken
and I’m having a hard time coping
I don't feel like praising you
When it seems like I’m losing everything
Even my faith is quickly vanishing
I don't feel like praising you
When I am so tired of striving
and find myself merely surviving
I don't feel like praising you
When I am feeling out of breath
like I’m suffocating to death
And yet
And yet
I will still praise you
For being my beautiful Savior
and strong deliverer
I will still praise you
For your all-consuming love
and for your peace from above
I will still praise you
For your present glory
and the Gospel story
I will still praise you
For being my restorer
and constant elevator
I will still praise you
For being my faithful blesser
and faith increaser
I will still praise you
For being my living river
and abundant life-giver
I will still praise you
For being my spiritual connector
and powerful resurrector
I will still praise you
For you are my Lord
the one who I adore
I will still praise you right now and forevermore
I will still praise you right now and forevermore
I will still praise you right now and forevermore
