Expression of a Disillusioned Heart
My Heart
When I was a junior in high school, I was angry—angry at the world and angry at the Church. I saw injustice and suffering everywhere. I believed, and still believe, that the Church should do more to alleviate them.
It’s easy for me to go on a rant about how the American church has drifted from the teachings of Jesus Christ. I could talk for hours about how it seems more focused on building personal kingdoms than the Kingdom of God. I could point out the lack of compassion and genuine love. I could write pages about how the Church often fails to love as Jesus loves, to lift as He lifts, and to serve as He served.
But today, I won’t rant about the Church.
Today, I need to speak to myself.
Because I can't change the Church. I can’t change the world. The only thing I can change is me—and even that, I cannot do on my own. I desperately need help. I desperately need a changed heart. And the only One who can change my heart is Jesus. He transforms my heart with His love.
If I’m honest, I can be uncaring. I can be aloof to the needs and suffering around me. Sometimes my heart grows callous. I’ll read tragic news while sipping coffee and feel bad for a moment—then I turn the page.
I’ve driven past homeless people without even offering a prayer, much less a few dollars. I’ve felt the Holy Spirit tug at my heart, and yet I’ve ignored Him. Like Paul, I cry, “Who will rescue me from this body of death?” Because even when I want to do good, I often fail. And like Paul, I answer: “Thanks be to God, through Jesus Christ our Lord!”
Only Jesus can rescue me.
Only Jesus can soften my heart and make me care again.
Only Jesus can take a heart of stone and replace it with a heart that beats with compassion—for the lost, the broken, the hurting, and even the unlovable.
I am most unloving when I’m angry. In those moments, I don’t see people as image-bearers of God—I see them as enemies. I tear down with my words, trying to win a battle of pride. I forget their humanity. I forget they are broken like me. I forget they need Jesus just as much as I do.
Shamefully, I’ve sinned in my anger more times than I care to count.
Oh, how I need Jesus’s love to transform me.
How I need His eyes to see others’ pain.
How I need His heart to feel their suffering.
How I need His mind to understand their struggles.
And how I need to follow His example—because He gave His life for the hurting, the broken, the suffering… and for me.
For Your Heart
Why is there so much evil in the world—especially among those who should know better?
The uncomfortable truth is that evil persists because we are inherently broken. The Bible tells us that the heart is deceitful and desperately wicked. That none of us do good, and that all of us have turned away from God.
So then, why does God still love us?
Why does He keep pursuing us?
One reason, I believe, is because we are made in His image. And because God is love, He knows that—with His help—we are capable of love too.
Jesus, fully God and fully man, embodied perfect love. Every word, every action, every sacrifice was fueled by love—love for God, and love for people. In Jesus, we see not just who God is, but who we were meant to be. He gave everything for us. On the cross, He poured out His life as the ultimate act of love.
So how can we love like Jesus?
We need new hearts.
We need God to do what He promised in Ezekiel 36:26—to take away our hearts of stone and give us hearts of flesh. We need our hearts to be transformed by the love Jesus displayed on the cross.
And we need the Holy Spirit living in us.
Galatians 5:22–23 tells us that love is a fruit of the Spirit. This kind of love isn’t something we muster on our own—it’s something that flows through us when the Spirit of God dwells in us.
It’s easy to point fingers and blame others for the evil and suffering around us. But that accomplishes nothing. Instead, we must look inward and upward—inviting God to transform us from the inside out.
Let’s not stop at simply trying to love others. Let’s ask God to help us love supernaturally—to love like Jesus does.
Because only the love of Jesus, working through us, can truly change the world.
Let Your Love Rain Down
In this world filled with brokenness and despair
where children are forgotten,
women are abused
there lies a deep rooted, paralyzing fear.
With Christians who seem to not really care,
cold, callous hearts, void of any real love
selfish motives, coupled with a cold stare.
Broken hearts are scattered everywhere
like dead men’s bones, reeking of apathy
with a question, “God, are you really there?”
Lord, let Your love rain down,
let it rain on me.
Lord let Your love rain down
so people may see
that You love them dearly.
My desire is to save them all
to wrap my arms all around them
while making them heed salvation’s call.
Sometimes I’m also gripped with despair,
a prisoner of loneliness with a broken heart
and sometimes sadly one who does not care.
Whenever I try to love on my own
my good intentions become corrupt
resulting in love not being shown.
So I fall down on bended knee
in brokenness and surrender
I begin to utter this one plea.
Lord, let Your love rain down,
let it rain on me.
Lord let Your love rain down
so people may see
that You love them dearly.
A long time ago, on a hill called Calvary
there was an innocent man named Jesus
who was dying for the world while nailed to a tree.
His cleansing blood pouring forth from the cross
blood that can heal the sick and the broken
saving all of those who are at a loss
You see, while the sun was going down
Jesus took His last breath and died
and on that day love truly rained down
so now we can see
that Jesus loves us dearly
