Expression of a Heart Brought Back
From My Heart
There have been several times in my life when I have strayed—times when I fell into sin or simply drifted away from Jesus. At first, those moments felt enticing, even pleasurable. I stopped praying, stopped reading the Bible, and slowly began to forget the God I once loved and cherished. My focus slipped away like an unanchored ship, drifting from Jesus toward people or things that seemed more appealing in the moment.
Then the depression would come—settling in like an unwelcome guest. The absence of Jesus in my daily life affected not just my spirit, but also my emotions. A numbness would creep in. Life lost its flavor. I became indifferent to people, passions, and even my own existence.
Eventually, I would find myself in a fierce battle—locked in spiritual warfare with satan, tormented by suicidal thoughts and tempted to end this scarred life.
But every time I strayed, Jesus showed Himself to be merciful and strong. Like a good shepherd, He would call out to me—gently, lovingly—because He knows my name. In fact, He knows everything about me: the good, the bad, the broken, and the beautiful. He knows how my mind works, what my heart aches for, and what weighs down my spirit.
I haven’t forgotten His voice. It doesn’t come to me in anger or judgment. Instead, His voice is as soft as a dove’s coo, as refreshing as a spring of clean water. He calls me to return—to once again be His beloved.
He offers complete restoration: of mind, of heart, of spirit. He extends absolute forgiveness and promises to never again bring up my sins. In His love, my past is not held against me.
So I began to pray again. I opened my Bible. I worshipped. Slowly, my spiritual life came back to life. Deep from within, I began to share my hurts, struggles, and disappointments with Jesus. And He listened—because He yearns for real conversations. He invites us to bring it all to Him—not just the polished and presentable parts, but the messy, ugly, and painful ones, too.
That’s when the healing begins.
Jesus touches my mind, and the suicidal thoughts began to fade—less frequent, less powerful—until they vanished like vapor. Then He touches my heart, cleaning out the bitterness and pain and filling it with His love. He mends my broken spirit, one piece at a time. He strengthens me from the inside out until I can stand again—ready to face the enemy and resist the temptations of this broken world.
In the end, I find myself healed. Restored. At peace in my mind, body, heart, and spirit. Most of all, I found myself back in His arms—safe, loved, and home again.
For Your Heart
Jesus wants to bring you back to Himself—and He’ll do it gently, like a faithful shepherd.
Shepherds in Jesus’ time were very different from those we might imagine today. A shepherd back then knew his sheep intimately. He gave each one a name. He learned their personalities, their quirks, their habits. He developed a bond with them.
When it was time to move, the shepherd would go ahead of the sheep, calling them by name, leading them—not pushing or driving them—to green pastures and fresh water. And if one sheep wandered off and got lost, the shepherd didn’t give up. He would search tirelessly, calling out its name, following its tracks.
And when he found the lost sheep, he didn’t scold or punish it. No, he gently lifted it onto his shoulders—scared, tired, maybe wounded—and carried it home. Then he would rejoice with the other shepherds, celebrating the return of the one that was lost.
Are you lost?
Have you wandered from your true love?
Jesus, the Good Shepherd, is calling your name. He wants to bring you back—not with shame, but with tenderness. He longs to heal your broken spirit, to restore your weary heart, and to calm your troubled mind with His perfect peace. He calls you back simply because you are His. That truth will never change.
Bringing Me Back to You
You are bringing me back to You again
To when I first gave You my whole heart
In exchange You gave me a fresh start
Igniting from within my cold, dark, empty heart,
a love for You which burns within this sacred part
Along with resurrecting the gift of poetry
As it flows out, sometimes uncontrollably
Bringing me back from the death grip of the grave
and making me no longer its slave.
You are bringing back the beauty of Your creation,
With a new and clear direction.
Only You have the immense power to birth life from death,
light from darkness, healing from pain, and joy from depression.
And You do it all by Your Holy Spirit, in just one breath.
This road that You used to bring me back here
was polluted with the pain of loss, rejection, and betrayal.
Where I loathed my broken mind and my destructive, repeated behavior.
Along with a nagging question, “How did I get here?”
This dark road caused me to sink into deep despair
where satan almost had me, causing every ounce of my will to live to quickly disappear.
Today in deep reflection,
I ask myself this one question.
Was it worth it?
To have traveled down this dark, painful, lonely road?
Where I carried a back-breaking and soul-crushing load.
Warm tears start streaming down my face.
Feeling a love in my heart, which defies explanation
and a joy that no one or nothing can ever replace.
I answer yes, it was worth it, and I would travel down it again.
Simply because this dark, painful, and lonely road
has brought me back to You, my first love, again.
